mandytaylor's Blog

If a Goldfish only has an eight second memory, by the time it has swum around.........If a Goldfish only has..............hehehehehheheheh

Yes , I know, its old , but then, so are you! Hello one and all, and all the rest of you too, how are you?........REALLY?............and twice yesterday?............It'll fall off you know!! giggle. SO!!! where were we? Who took the minutes at the last meeting? Thats a thought!!! Why are they called minutes? because they only take a minute? Because they are small? Surely then they would then be minute minutes? and if your not sure do you say " Just a minute! Are they minute minutes?" Who knows?????.......Who cares , more to the point!!

English is a thoroughly confusing language isnt it? I'm English! and it scares the buggery out of me!! For example ( OH god here she goes again!! SHUT UP the voices told me too!!) Look at these lot! You have though, through, thorough, thought. You could end up with " I thought , though, that I was thorough, through and through!!" Though why you would thunk that is beyond me!!

I, personally , blame it all on WIlliam Shake-his-spear. Dont get me wrong, he had the right idea. In all his Sonnets and Odes and sillili.......silililil.......stories, if he wanted to say something, but couldnt think of the word....he made it up!!! Dont believe me?? ITS TRUE!!! where else do you ever see someone say " come HITHER"....hither???!!!! not even a word...he made it up!!! Down his local pub, near to closing, he wanted to finish his latest tome, just scribbled down any old rubbish!! maybe his quill needed sharpening or something!

I before E except after closing, dot your T's and cross your I's, all too much like hard work if you ask me..and who the devil is a pro-noun? a noun on the game??? Thank the Lord for spell checker!!!! Without whom I would be list, wheel und treely boogered !!!

Right!!! First things first, bolt all the doors, lash the windows.......how exactly DO you lash a window?...mmmmm..........anyway......Everyone here?........good....settle down........listen very carefully.....i sha'll say dis only once........

I've cracked it!!......I havent messed about with apples or baths full of water, I've had a PROPER eurika moment!!! After hours of being dribbled and wee-wee'd on......and having to look after the baby giggle....I have finally fathomed out what NASA have spent Billions of Dollars trying to discover. Not the meaning of life, the dolphins told us that years ago, NO!!! I have uncoverd the truth behind.......... BLACK-HOLES!!!!!

You see its sooooooo bloody obvious, black holes are ....in Astri.........in Astrum......in spacey terms......BABIES!!!!!!!....I have proof!!! Right!!!....what do black-holes do exactly? they suck in and swallow EVERYTHING!!....can you see where I'm going with this?......AND spew it out at a rate of knots somewhere else.......am I right?......course I am.....same as babies. In the mouth..nanoseconds later.....lets just say Playdough & Ammonia somewhere else.

And TIME!!!! All the Boffins have surmised that the gravitational force of your common or garden Black-hole is powerful enough to suck in time as well....PROOF POSITIVE!!!! If you have a baby in the house, by the time you've fed, watered, changed and played with the little Sh......darling, time has effectively....Gone!!!! No time to try on the new corset because its the little buggers dinner-time again!!!

So, there you have it, babies and black-holes are one and the same.You never know,they might even name one after me...... Mandys Mouth ...or some such thing.......hehe.....Oi!!! Behave!!!............ xxxxxxxxxxx

ITS TRUE!!!!!!!!!!

Hands up ONE PERSON who's ever seen a happy Vegan, come to think of it, hands up who's seen a healthy one?? If being vegan, and , to a certain degree, all you veggies out there, is so flipping healthy why do you have to take vitamin suppliments....eh?......eh?.......answer me that!! Besides if Him upstairs......what? ....no..not him at number 42..HIM... the Almighty, had not meant us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?...eh?...eh?...... and I'm not even going to touch on the subject of the fact that...well....sorry vegans but.......with all them pulses and things... you do tend to pong a bit dont ya??

You are what you eat!! some absolute PLONKER once said, all his mates sitting around him nodding sagely, bet he was a bloody veggie!!! AAAAHHHHH and thats ANOTHER thing!!! Another reason why I could never be a veggie!!There is some unseen law, probably passed by the head Vegan...... V for short.......that says that you are only allowed to dress like a secondary school teacher!!! I'm sorry but I'm sewing leather patches on all my cardi's for no man!!!!

Besides, If you want to get all testicle, we are in fact OMNIVORES, designed to be both carniverous and herbivorous, just look in your mouth, canines and incisors for meat, molars and pre-molars for grinding vegetation, So stick that in yer pipe and smoke it veggies!!!! pass me another Pork pie mother !!!!!................

.........go on......own up!.......who's got them???

God forbid they've gone to the same place as the biro's and the left socks!!!!!! Its like the Bermuda Triangle!!!.....Sod living in Bermuda!!.......go out for a pint of milk and a biro, come back with one less sock and 12 lost airmen!!! I personally have gone some way to solving the sock issue, I either only wear tights, or , the two pairs I do own are so hideously bright and stripey, that no self-respecting Sock-monster would be seen dead eating them!

Strange fellow , the Sock-monster, some say that him and the biro-monster are one and the same, but I'm having none of it!! They are quite clearly distant cousins, maybe with a family resemblance, but there the similarity ends. For example, its clear to me that, unlike the BM, the sock monster has no teeth. His diet of soft and fluffy socks are all he can manage being a bit gummy, where as the BM obviously needs a good set of gnashers to masticate said pens!

Secondly , old socky is a skinny fellow , with a small stomach. The reasons are obvious!! He only nicks one sock because of his small appetite.Where-as old BM is a right fatso, eating VAST ammounts of pens at a time. Then of course there is the age old question, What colour are they?

I know, I know!!! They are invisible........to us.....but to each-other ??? Anyone ?........ anyone? .......jeeeeez......aint it obvious??? the sock monster is a brightly coloured fellow, with a faint tinge of pink from that rogue red sock!!( yes! you know the one!!! hehehe) Where-as the BM , with his diet of all that ink is a muddy, browny colour...see!!....bloody obvious!!!

WHAT???????? I hear you yodel...has this to do with the missing milkmen???? MY GOD!!!! Do I have to explain EVERYTHING????? The monsters have to wash it all down with something ...DONT THEY!!!!????

SEE..............SIMPLE ................giggle

 My Life
                  
                  It’s always difficult to think of what to write in a               
              blog, I try and make it amusing, sometimes    
             thought provoking, and sometimes just plain silly,  
             but then a conversation at work got me thinking      
     and so I came up with this.
             I class myself as a TG, why? many reasons. I do not dress for any sexual reasons, I dont dress to attract a
member of the opposite sex, I dress because its me, plain and simple, or is it?
             If that was the case, then why cant i talk about it without crying? Why when I come home from 3 days as Mandy do I sob my heart out as I’m unpacking? Why, in the early days before i was outed, did I feel suicidal if i couldnt dress for a few days? I cant be alone, but what does it make me?
              My TS friend calls me a TG with TS leanings , or in her more subtle moments “ you know what you are, I know what you are, so stop being so bloody silly and face it”, but that is where the problem lies....
              like many of you I am happily married and with a child, like many of you , I would lose my life for them without a moments hesitation, and, like many of you, if I took that next step it would be a step to far and they would leave.
                               Can I be that selfish?

The answer, plain and simple , is no.
           Just because I have a ‘condition’ namely Gender Dysphoria - that doesnt give me the right to ruin the lives of two innocent people, and ruin their lives it would, it wouldnt matter how brave a face they put on it, it would be a stigma they would live with for the rest of their lives. I have no right
......... so I dont.
                    The term ‘ rock and a hard place’ springs to mind, but I have it far easier than a lot of girls. I get to dress very regularly, I have the support of friends and family, I have a lovely wife and son, I am very lucky.
                    But it doesnt stop me feeling sad, it doesnt stop me crying while I write this and it probably never will.
                    Thats why I always stress that you are NOT alone, I know many of you like , respect and in some cases , envy me, but trust me..... I’m just the same as you.



                                              Mandy xxx